“The Sticky Subject”

Series: “The Gospel Truth”

Text: Mark 10: 1-12; Matt. 19:1-12; Mal 2:10-16

Introduction: (What?)

If you want to instigate an argument in a church, bring up the “sticky subject” of divorce. That is exactly what the Pharisees were attempting to do in the passage we consider today. Many pastors refrain from preaching on these passages because they know that someone will walk away offended. None the less, if God saw fit to include such passages in scripture, then we must carefully and prayerfully consider them. Among Jews, it depends on which Rabbi you follow. Rabbi Hillel allowed divorce for almost anything, including a wife burning the food or if a man just didn’t like her any more. Rabbi Shammai said that only adultery was legitimate cause. Most of them granted divorce initiated by the husband, while the wife did not have such freedom. However, one comment I read said, “If a woman’s husband were a copper smelter, tanner or dung collector, she could get a divorce even if she knew before she married him what his occupation was, on the grounds that she couldn’t have known how awful the smell would be.”

One Jewish website, Chabad.org noted that divorce is like amputation.

It is painful

It is a last resort

It is not “Plan B”

Prevention is better than a cure.

Explanation: (Why?)

1. What Moses said, and why? (Mk 9:1-4; Mt 19:7-8)

“He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Then crowds converged on Him again, and as was His custom, He taught them again. Some Pharisees came to test Him, asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ He replied to them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They said, ‘Moses permitted us to write divorce papers (get) and send her away.’” (vv 1-4)

In Mt 19:7 we find, “‘Why then,’ they asked Him, ‘did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?’”

Notice that in Mark the Pharisees said that Moses “permitted” them to divorce their wives, while in Matthew they said that he “commanded” them to do it.

The only thing that Moses said directly about divorce is found in Deut. 24. Here he is addressing an issue that had come up in Jewish culture. In v 1 he wrote, “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he MAY write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.” Notice the use of the word “may” which is permissive, not directive. Jesus’s response regarding what Moses had done came from this scripture.

“But Jesus told them, ‘He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts.’” (Mk 10:5)

“He told them, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning.’” (Mt 19:8)

2. What God said. (Mk 10:6-9; Mt 19:7-9)

In both Gospels Jesus emphasized that it is the sinfulness of man, not the intent of the law that leads to divorce. In Mk 10:6-9 Jesus said, “But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and the two will become one flesh. So they are not longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Also in Mt. 19:9 Jesus said, “I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

In Jesus’s response in both gospels He argued that it was permission, not command. However, as we will see in a moment, Jesus had only one interpretation in both gospels and that interpretation came from the laws of God. Jesus was speaking from Gen. 2 when God created Eve from Adam’s rib. Adam’s response is in v 23. “This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken from man.”

Then in v 24 we find the statement that Jesus quoted. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds (cleaves to) with his wife, and they have become one flesh.” Here God is speaking of more than sexual intimacy. He is declaring that the man and wife become one physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. That does not mean that they lose their individuality, but it does mean that they live in agreement on the important things. This is also the reason that as Paul wrote to the Corinthian church In 2 Cor. 6:14 “”Don’t become partners with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” This is not saying that it is a sin to be unequally yoked in marriage, but it is a warning that there will be rough sledding ahead. In one church we were in, a very godly woman was married to an unbeliever. They had been married for over 20 years and had children. She said, “If I had it to do over again, I would not marry him. Although he is a good husband and father, we cannot share the one thing that is most important to me.”

In Cor. 7 Paul gave his “principles for marriage”. In most of the chapter he delineates between what God said and what he is recommending. His recommendations are evidently Spirit-led or else they would not be in the Bible. However, in vv 10-11 he wrote, “To the married I give this command---not I, but the LORD---a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife.”

In vv 12-13 Paul once again gives his sanctified opinion regarding those unequally yoked (Christian with non-Christian) since he does not have a direct word from God. Paul said, “But I (not the LORD) say to the rest: if any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he is not to divorce her. Also if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.” Then in v 16 Paul summed up his reasoning. “Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.”

3. The broader application. (Mal 2:10-16)

In the book of Malachi we discover the spiritual principle behind God’s admonitions against divorce. Here He is addressing “spiritual marital unfaithfulness”. Judah (the southern kingdom) had drifted into idolatry. In v 11 God said through Malachi, “Judah has acted treacherously, and a detestable act has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the LORD’s sanctuary, which He loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.” Throughout scripture God has used human marriage as a picture of the relationship between Himself and the redeemed. In in the Gospels Jesus told the parable of the wedding feast. In Revelation we find the wedding feast of the Son and His bride (the church). In this particular instance some of the men of Judah had intermarried with women who worshipped idols. V 12 “May the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, whoever he may be, even if he presents an offering to the LORD of Armies.” In other words, they were continuing to sacrifice to God even without having repented of their sin of intermarriage. In order to marry pagan women, the men of Judah were divorcing their Jewish wives to whom they had vowed faithfulness before God. One problem today is that marriage is looked upon as a legal procedure, not a sacred vow before God. More and more marriages are taking place outside the church, with a Justice of the Peace or some other government official and no mention of the sacred vows.

Continuing on in Malachi 2 in vv14-16 we find “And you ask, ‘Why?’ Because even though the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, you have acted treacherously against her. She was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. Didn’t God make them one and give them a portion of spirit? What is the one seeking? Godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, so that no one acts treacherously against the wife of his youth. If he hates and divorces his wife, says the LORD God of Israel, he covers his garment with injustice, says the LORD of Armies. Therefore watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.” In many of your translations the beginning of vs 16 reads, “I hate divorce” says the LORD God of Israel.” John McArthur points out that in the church there are “hardliners” who say “no divorce at any time for any reason”, even the exception given in Matt. 19 (sexual impurity), and their are those on the other end of the spectrum who allow divorce for any reason. The balance of the church are somewhere in the middle.

Application: (How should I respond to this message?)

Application of this passage incorporates an understanding of sin and forgiveness. Sin is violation of God’s commands and laws. Clearly God’s commands and laws regarding marriage can be summed up as “one man with one woman for life”. However, God’s perfect plan for mankind has been forever broken since the Garden of Eden. The only way of redemption is through confession and repentance of violating God’s commands. The only “unforgivable sin” is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. All other sin can and will be forgiven when there is Godly sorrow that leads to confession and repentance.

God’s grace is available for all who have sinned whether it be divorce or any of the other things that God hates. In Proverbs 16:16-19 Solomon wrote “The LORD hates six things; in fact, seven are detestable to him: arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet eager to run to evil, a lying witness who gives false testimony, and one who stirs up trouble among brother.” Understand that this is not a complete list of sins that mankind commits, but rather a representation of them. One commentator noted that “while God limited or even prohibited divorce as part of God’s will for marriage, He did not label divorce as the unforgivable sin. Divorce involves missing the will of God for marriage partners. Both partners should admit their individual fault in not realizing God’s purpose for marriage. Both should confess sin in divorce cases. The question of remarriage of divorced persons is then appropriately considered from the perspective of God’s forgiveness of repentant sinners.”

I cannot say it any better than that commentator. It is not my place, nor the place of the church to condemn what God forgives when a person repents. If you have a condemning spirit toward those who are divorced, then you also have sinned, and must repent. I can think of no better words with which to close this message than the words of Jesus in John 8:7 regarding those who had brought to Him a woman “caught in the act” of adultery. Jesus said, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Have you surrendered your life to Jesus? If not, today is the day. Once you do that, all your previous sins are covered by the blood of Christ, and you stand clean before the LORD.

What sin do you need to repent of today? All of us sin even after we surrender to Christ. Each of us must “confess our sins” to the One who is “faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”